Line of Fire, An Autumn Rain Novel


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Computer Puns

"There's something wrong with my disk!" said the man on the phone. He had called the software company for help and Dave, the support worker, obligingly talked him through the proper steps, but without success.

"Send me a copy of the disk so that I can see for myself what's wrong," Dave advised the distressed man. Dave hung up the phone and was completely astonished a few minutes later to see a picture of the problem disk coming through his fax machine!

*****

One afternoon a man called the software company my husband works for and talked to Mike, one of the support technicians.

"Nothing works on my computer at all, Mike," the man said. "I've tried everything."

Mike worked with the man for long minutes, racking his brain for problems that might possibly affect the computer in this strange manner. Finally, when he had exhausted all other ideas, he said, "Well, why don't you check to see if the computer is plugged into the outlet?"

"OK, wait a minute," said the man. "I need to move the candle first to get behind the desk. The power went off about an hour ago."

*****

A man called the software support line to get help installing a new program. He followed the instructions perfectly up until the end.

"Now you're done. Just press any key to finish," he was instructed.

There was a long silence on the phone and then the man exclaimed, "I can't find the any key on my keyboard!"

*****

(You can tell this one's old.)
"That disk you sent me doesn't work," the man on the phone complained. The software company had sent him a 5¼ inch floppy with an update of some programs he had purchased.

"What happened when you put the disk in?" the support person asked.

"It didn't do anything," the man said. "But I did have a time getting it to fit. My drive is a lot smaller than the disk so I had to cut it down."

*****

When he was a new computer programmer, my husband occasionally filled in on the customer support line. One day when he had to answer the phones, a woman called to ask for help in using her new software.

"Push the keys that I tell you," he said to the woman. "C, d, space, x, a, c, t—"

"Wait!" the woman exclaimed, trying to hold down all of the keys at once. "I'm running out of fingers!"